Seven on Sunday

* My husband knows how crazy I am about decorating for Christmas and every year since we got married, he’s added more and more lights to our front yard display. He’s definitely outdone himself this year. He worked outside in the cold for most of the day yesterday and was out there again this morning in the freezing cold wind, adding a few final touches here and there. Last night we raced away from the house just before dark, so we could return a couple of hours later to see the lights in all their glory for the first time. It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

*I bought my first pair of reading glasses earlier this week. It’s official. I’m old.

*Also in the “No seriously. I’m old” category, my knee is swollen. It doesn’t really hurt very much – an occasional pain but mostly it’s just swollen. And I have no idea how it happened. None.

*We had snow on Thursday – only an inch or so, but it came down in big fat flakes and stayed on the ground for a long while. If I needed any further prodding to embrace the Christmas spirit, that was it. Of course, I also love that I live in a place where I still have pansies happily blooming on the front porch.

*Since our case was transferred back to the county where we did our foster/adopt classes two weeks ago, I’ve e-mailed back and forth with J (the woman who taught our foster/adopt classes and who is working to get our home study finished) more than I did in the entire nine months we “belonged” to our county’s D*C*F*S. Of course, last I heard, J was still waiting for Nicole (the supervisor) to get our paperwork copied and sent to her. I really like J. I hope she’s not holding her breath waiting for THAT to happen.

*From the “It’s a small world” category, remember the brother and sister we were contacted about adopting last month? Well, I was happily reading one of my favorite blogs earlier this week and there was a post about a SW in the blogger’s area who was purposefully withholding information about a brother/sister pair she was trying to place. Namely that they have been diagnosed with R*A*D. Seems that divulging that information up front had caused several families to walk away from placement. As I kept reading, all of my alarm bells started ringing. A couple of e-mails back and forth with this blogger and sure enough, those kids are the ones we were approached about. We aren’t heartbroken by any means, though the R*A*D diagnosis is a deal breaker for us. We’d already come to the conclusion that we weren’t a good fit for these kids. But what a great lesson for us. From the beginning O felt like there was something wrong about this situation. Two adorable kids, very high IQ’s, TPR’ed years and years ago. WHY hadn’t they been adopted already? Something didn’t add up there. How very important it is to listen to our “guts”, no matter how good the story or how cute the faces. On a positive note, after talking with our SW about the kids for over an hour, and in reviewing our notes, one of the questions I sent back to have answered was specifically about R*A*D. There had been no mention of it – no indication that either one of them had that diagnosis, but I’ve learned to take nothing for granted when dealing with the “system” and the people in it. So that didn’t fly under my radar. That makes me feel a bit more confident that I can hold my own in this arena.

 Happy Sunday y’all!*Finally, and if you’re a regular reader, you might want to sit down for this. We’re considering fostering. I know, I know. We’ve both been adamantly against it since the beginning. All the reasons we DON’T want to do it are still valid. It’s just that now we’re starting to look at the reasons why maybe we SHOULD. Of course, until we can come to a very firm decision, we won’t be breathing a word of this to our SW, lest we have a child plunked into our kids’ room by sundown. We want to be more sure of what we’re getting ourselves into. Along those lines, I have made a list of my favorite foster/adopt blogs for O to read over the next couple of weeks. From our D*C*F*S training, he has a good foundation of knowledge but that being said, he has NO IDEA how bad it can be. So this is one topic that is definitely to be continued. And in the meantime, any advice would be appreciated, either here on via e-mail.

Five Years

Five years ago today I married the love of my life. I still can't believe he chose me.
Thank you baby! I love you so!

Three Words . . .

Transfer Approved.

Hallelujah!

I can't imagine why I'd be surprised to be waiting an inordinate amount of time to hear from our county's D*C*F*S. But I am. Perhaps I'll never learn.

On Monday, November 24th, O dropped off a letter to the director of our county's D*C*F*S requesting our transfer to the county where we did our foster/adopt classes. It went a little something like this:

Dear Ms. Director,

My husband O and I contacted you back in August 2008 requesting your assistance in getting our home study completed.

To refresh your memory, we took our foster/adopt classes in Nice County in December 2007 and because we live in Worthless County, were then transferred to you to have our home study done. Our final home visit with our social worker, Mia was March 4th, 2008 and she mailed our home study to the state office at the end of that month.

From the beginning we’ve never felt valued as an adoptive resource by Worthless County. Even during our home study, calls and e-mails to Mia went unanswered for weeks at a time, to the point that I had to contact social workers in Nice and Helpful Counties to get our questions answered.

In May 2008 we contacted Mia via e-mail in an attempt to facilitate better communication between us. She never responded to that e-mail, then or since, and we chose to contact her supervisor Nicole a couple of weeks later.

We were then hopeful that our home study would be completed in a timely manner. Since then, however, the only progress that has been made toward that end is when we’ve found out the specific paperwork our consultant in the state office is missing and have contacted Nicole to find out why.

Even then, our home study is still incomplete almost nine months after our final home visit, and almost a year after transferring to Worthless County.

At this point, we believe it would be in everyone’s best interest to discontinue our relationship with Worthless County. Because Nice County did our foster/adopt classes and knows us better, they may find it easier to complete our study in a timely manner and provide a more accurate recommendation about our child preferences and our ability to adopt children from the foster care system.

Therefore, we are writing to formally request that our case be moved back to Nice County.

I have spoken with J, who taught our foster/adopt classes, and she has contacted her supervisor as well as the County Director. They have generously agreed to this transfer provided that you give your consent.

Should you have any questions or need additional information, O and I will be happy to provide it. You can contact us at our home (555)555-5555 or via E-mail at blahblahblah@blahblah.net. I am certain that both J. in Nice County and C. at the state office (who has been very helpful to us) would be glad to answer any questions you may have as well.

We are hopeful that our case can be transferred quickly and if there is anything we can do to facilitate that, please do not hesitate to let us know.

My husband O will be in touch with you in a few days to find out your decision.

Thank you for your time.

This is a much tamed down version of what I wanted to write, but I decided to start off nicer and then go in with guns blazing if necessary.

O called her two days after dropping off the letter and left a message on her voice mail requesting a call back. It's now a week later and we haven't heard a word. He tried again yesterday but she wasn't in, or at least wasn't answering her phone.

Yes, there may be some really valid reason why she hasn't returned our call or responded to the letter. She may be out of the office sick, or on vacation, or at a conference. She may be gathering information from Mia and Nicole. Of course, she never responded to our request for her help in completing our home*study back in August. O finally had to call her. So forgive me if I'm a bit cynical.

Let me tell you right now that this situation completely conflicts with my Christmasey-goodwill-towards-men-attitude and it's PISSING ME OFF! (Ha - I just cracked myself up!) Oh well, enough about that mess.

Thanksgiving was really nice 'round here. I cooked two seperate dinners which meant that I was up at 6am. I love Thanksgiving morning, when it's still dark outside and I'm tiptoeing around trying not to wake O up, cooking up a storm in my pink bathrobe and listening to the first carols of the year. (Okay, I MIGHT have been listening to Harry Connick Jr's Christmas CD since August - just occasionally.)

My mom and dad came for lunch, and O's family came for dinner. They like each other and get along very well, but I don't get to spend much time with Mom and Dad if the house is overflowing with people, so it works out better to do them separately.

I was on my feet the entire day but I loved it, especially the part between lunch and dinner when I sprawled out on the bed in our guest room/Alabama room/computer room while O was reading football stuff online and he massaged my feet for a while. A man who is loving and generous and kind is all well and good but a man who can give a good foot massage - PRICELESS!

Then on Saturday our beloved football team beat the living crap out of our in-state rivals and we loved every single minute of it. O had a friend over and while I usually watch with them, I decided instead to work on putting up Christmas trees whilst keeping an eye on the game. (Yes, we have seven decorated trees in our home this year.) O and I enjoyed the game so much that when we woke up at 6:30am Sunday morning, he turned on the Christmas lights in our bedroom and I went and got the DVD of the game, and we crawled in bed, snuggled up, and watched every single play again. And laughed and laughed and laughed.

Last night I finished our 4-page Christmas letter, chock full of pictures from 2008. I love putting it together, even though this year took about ten times longer than usual because our color printer is on its' last legs. Every sixth page, some of the printing was off to the side due to problems with the "carriage" not returning properly, whatever mechanism is supposed to suck through one page at a time would occasionally just grab up and ruin a whole bunch, and then there's the matter of the lovely discolored streak that runs down every single page. Sigh . . . But it's done now, and this hateful printer will soon be replaced by a shiny new one wrapped under the Christmas tree.

The next week should be a whirlwind with O's high school playing in the state football championship, our college team playing another rival in the SEC Championship on Saturday and the accompanying party we'll be hosting, our 5th anniversary which is also Saturday, a trip to Nashville overnight to see the lights at the Opryland hotel, Christmas shopping with my parents, and I'm sure I'm missing a few things. Gosh, I do so love this time of year! And I vow and declare here and now that I'm not going to let the Grinches at D*C*F*S spoil a minute of my fun.