My husband and I went to an air show yesterday to see the Blue Angels and loved it so much we decided to go back today. We talked about going inside the gates but instead decided to park across the highway at the end of the runway to watch the planes fly in and out right over our heads.
About 2pm a storm blew in. I was worried for the estimated 100,000 people out in the open across the road. I couldn't imagine where they would go to escape the lightning and driving rain. The storm went through quickly but violently, with winds clocked at almost 50mph. A microburst, probably.
Some of the VIP tents along the tarmac were blown over. Twelve people were injured. A five-year-old boy was killed when an air conditioner/generator fell on top of him. This morning he was just a little kid excited to go see the planes. Tonight his family has to try to figure out how to say goodbye to him.
Praying for that family tonight.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
No News
Remember the old saying “No news is good news”?
Around here, it’s pretty much been “No news is freaking aggravating”.
We did find out about Smiley. He has been matched with a family. There haven’t been any visits yet, but they think this match will work so they put a hold on his case and removed his photo from the website. As I said in my last post, I knew that deep down but I just had to find out on the off chance that something else was going on. It still makes me sad that we weren’t even able to be considered for him.
Still nothing on our home study. I e-mailed Nicole, our SW’s supervisor, on Monday and asked the million dollar question – the question I can’t seem to get anyone to answer. How long does it take to review a home study? I know it will vary depending on the worker assigned to the case (Lord don’t I know THAT!!!), but are we talking a two-week process, or should we not expect to hear something until the end of the summer. Just tell us. Tell us SOMETHING!
Anyway, I posed the question once again and she wrote back and said she’d e-mailed the state office to get an update on the status of our home study and she’d let us know when she hears back.
Okay, whatever. At least she wrote back.
Around here, it’s pretty much been “No news is freaking aggravating”.
We did find out about Smiley. He has been matched with a family. There haven’t been any visits yet, but they think this match will work so they put a hold on his case and removed his photo from the website. As I said in my last post, I knew that deep down but I just had to find out on the off chance that something else was going on. It still makes me sad that we weren’t even able to be considered for him.
Still nothing on our home study. I e-mailed Nicole, our SW’s supervisor, on Monday and asked the million dollar question – the question I can’t seem to get anyone to answer. How long does it take to review a home study? I know it will vary depending on the worker assigned to the case (Lord don’t I know THAT!!!), but are we talking a two-week process, or should we not expect to hear something until the end of the summer. Just tell us. Tell us SOMETHING!
Anyway, I posed the question once again and she wrote back and said she’d e-mailed the state office to get an update on the status of our home study and she’d let us know when she hears back.
Okay, whatever. At least she wrote back.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Insult to Injury
In early March, around the time our last home study visit was completed, “Smiley” was added to the state D*C*F*S website as a child available for adoption. He was nine years old, loved basketball, and had the greatest grin I’d seen in a long time.
My first reaction when I saw Smiley was, “That’s him.” I really thought it was likely that he was our son.
Let me say here that I’m a very grounded, common sense person. I rarely have “feelings” about things or go looking for signs in the stars. In fact, that kind of certainty has only happened to me once before. The first time I spoke to my husband (we met online) I hung up the phone, looked up into the night sky, and said, “I’m going to marry that boy.” I just knew it. That was the same kind of reaction I had to Smiley.
In the year that we’ve been pursuing this, I’d estimate that I’ve looked at over a thousand profiles of children available for adoption between state websites, national websites, Heart Galleries, and private agencies. I’ve seen some darling children – even some children I’ve been interested in learning more about. But I’ve never once had that jolt of electricity I felt when I saw Smiley for the first time.
Yes, I know it’s ridiculous to become attached based on a picture and a paragraph. There is literally a lifetime of information about Smiley that we never had access to, so there was really no way of knowing whether we would have been a good fit for him or not. Nevertheless, I believed he was very probably going to be “ours”.
Every couple of days since I first saw him, I’ve returned to the state website to make sure he was still there – still available. As we’ve gone through all this mess with Mia, in the back of my mind my little prayer has been, “Please let him still be there when we are finally approved.” All I wanted was the opportunity to at least be considered for him. If we weren’t a good match, fine. At least we would have had a chance to find out.
Yesterday morning I went to the state website and there he was, smiling up a storm. I’ve never checked twice in one day but for some reason I checked again last night.
He’s gone.
I e-mailed Mia’s supervisor and asked her to check and see if he has, in fact, been placed. I know in my heart that he has but I guess I need to actually hear it from her. She's already been back in touch this morning and said she'll find out for us.
Having this happen brings up every angry feeling I ever had towards Mia. If she’d done her damned job three months ago – the job MY TAX DOLLARS are PAYING her to do - our home study would have been reviewed and approved long ago, and we would have at least been considered for this boy.
Now, as it stands, he is gone and our f*&%ing home study still hasn’t been approved.
(Well, at least I’m finally crying now. I’ve felt it building all morning.)
And in the midst of this upset, my subconscious tried its’ very best to help soothe my sadness. I dreamed all night long that I was pregnant, only to miscarry just before I woke up this morning.
Talk about adding insult to injury.
My first reaction when I saw Smiley was, “That’s him.” I really thought it was likely that he was our son.
Let me say here that I’m a very grounded, common sense person. I rarely have “feelings” about things or go looking for signs in the stars. In fact, that kind of certainty has only happened to me once before. The first time I spoke to my husband (we met online) I hung up the phone, looked up into the night sky, and said, “I’m going to marry that boy.” I just knew it. That was the same kind of reaction I had to Smiley.
In the year that we’ve been pursuing this, I’d estimate that I’ve looked at over a thousand profiles of children available for adoption between state websites, national websites, Heart Galleries, and private agencies. I’ve seen some darling children – even some children I’ve been interested in learning more about. But I’ve never once had that jolt of electricity I felt when I saw Smiley for the first time.
Yes, I know it’s ridiculous to become attached based on a picture and a paragraph. There is literally a lifetime of information about Smiley that we never had access to, so there was really no way of knowing whether we would have been a good fit for him or not. Nevertheless, I believed he was very probably going to be “ours”.
Every couple of days since I first saw him, I’ve returned to the state website to make sure he was still there – still available. As we’ve gone through all this mess with Mia, in the back of my mind my little prayer has been, “Please let him still be there when we are finally approved.” All I wanted was the opportunity to at least be considered for him. If we weren’t a good match, fine. At least we would have had a chance to find out.
Yesterday morning I went to the state website and there he was, smiling up a storm. I’ve never checked twice in one day but for some reason I checked again last night.
He’s gone.
I e-mailed Mia’s supervisor and asked her to check and see if he has, in fact, been placed. I know in my heart that he has but I guess I need to actually hear it from her. She's already been back in touch this morning and said she'll find out for us.
Having this happen brings up every angry feeling I ever had towards Mia. If she’d done her damned job three months ago – the job MY TAX DOLLARS are PAYING her to do - our home study would have been reviewed and approved long ago, and we would have at least been considered for this boy.
Now, as it stands, he is gone and our f*&%ing home study still hasn’t been approved.
(Well, at least I’m finally crying now. I’ve felt it building all morning.)
And in the midst of this upset, my subconscious tried its’ very best to help soothe my sadness. I dreamed all night long that I was pregnant, only to miscarry just before I woke up this morning.
Talk about adding insult to injury.
Monday, June 16, 2008
In the Meantime
One of my first thoughts this morning was, "Is this IT? Will this be the week that our home study is finally approved?"
Who knows?
I can tell you that I'm SERIOUSLY itching to get in touch with Nicole (our SW's supervisor) just to see if she's heard anything. Our main concern, of course, is that if the SW reviewing our paperwork in the state office has any questions, they will be directed to Mia and will go unanswered for weeks upon end. So we'll see. I suspect we'll give it until Thursday or Friday and get in touch with her. We don't want to drive the poor woman crazy!
In the meantime, I've been channeling some of my mothering instincts towards a project. Often when children are first taken into D*C*F*S custody, they arrive at the offices with nothing - no clothes, no toys, no favorite stuffed animals. So I thought that it might be nice to make some quilted "blankies" to give to the youngest kids in hopes that they might offer a little bit of comfort. The kids could keep these quilts and take them wherever they go - back home or to a foster family.
Anyway, I've made several. Others are "in process", but I thought I'd share some photos. As I told the girls from my infertility support group , if you look closely at the stitches, they appear to have been sewed by a drunken quilter, but I have fun putting them together and hope they'll bring some scared kids a little bit of comfort.
So instead of whistling while I work, I guess I'm quilting while I wait.
Who knows?
I can tell you that I'm SERIOUSLY itching to get in touch with Nicole (our SW's supervisor) just to see if she's heard anything. Our main concern, of course, is that if the SW reviewing our paperwork in the state office has any questions, they will be directed to Mia and will go unanswered for weeks upon end. So we'll see. I suspect we'll give it until Thursday or Friday and get in touch with her. We don't want to drive the poor woman crazy!
In the meantime, I've been channeling some of my mothering instincts towards a project. Often when children are first taken into D*C*F*S custody, they arrive at the offices with nothing - no clothes, no toys, no favorite stuffed animals. So I thought that it might be nice to make some quilted "blankies" to give to the youngest kids in hopes that they might offer a little bit of comfort. The kids could keep these quilts and take them wherever they go - back home or to a foster family.
Anyway, I've made several. Others are "in process", but I thought I'd share some photos. As I told the girls from my infertility support group , if you look closely at the stitches, they appear to have been sewed by a drunken quilter, but I have fun putting them together and hope they'll bring some scared kids a little bit of comfort.
So instead of whistling while I work, I guess I'm quilting while I wait.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Hot & Sunny With a Chance of Approval
If you read this blog, you know that early this month was a real low point for me in the foster/adopt journey. During that period, I think O understood for the very first time just how frustrating this process has been for me. He’s always been great – really supportive and on board with things, but I’m the one who has done most of the “work”. I’ve filled out the forms, set up the appointments, done the research, tried to pull information out of Mia, and gone in search of other resources when she let us down. By default, that meant I was the one who had done most of the fretting, stewing, and banging (her) head against the wall.
My husband is one of the most easygoing people you’ll ever meet. He’s no one’s doormat, but he generally tries to look for the best in people, understand where they’re coming from, and find a way to work with them. I’ve never met anyone who has an unkind word to say about him.
But as things progressed and we e-mailed Mia re: our concerns, only to be ignored, and when we found out that the bulk of our homestudy paperwork had not been sent, O got angry. I rarely see him angry and I have to say, it actually made me happy. It was validation that I wasn’t crazy – that things actually WERE seriously screwed up with this situation. Anyway, in the midst of the madness, he told me that he was sorry – that he was just realizing all I’d been doing and all I’d been dealing with. And he wanted to take over some of that. I cannot tell you what a relief that was for me.
Since then, he’s the one who has been communicating with Mia’s supervisor and getting answers to our questions. He wants to set up a meeting with Mia’s supervisor (let’s call her Nicole) for several reasons. First of all, she’s never met us. If she’s going to be involved in this process, we would like her to know us, even a little bit. Secondly, we really want to get to the bottom of what the issue is with Mia. If we weren’t forced to continue to work with her, we’d happily say “good riddance” and let it go. As it is, she’s still our worker and she’s still yet to respond to the letter we sent outlining our concerns. We want to find out just what the problem is in hopes that we can either work with her or work around her. Finally, we want to find out where we go from here. Will communication from the state still be set up to go through Mia or will Nicole be involved? Blah blah blah . . .
I said all that to say this . . .
O called Nicole yesterday morning to get that meeting set up, and also to get a bit of clarification on the e-mail she sent on Monday (the e-mail that said our home study was currently being approved and would then go to the caseworker representing the child we’re interested in.) Anyway, they had a great conversation. She was really kind and helpful, knew our case well, and was happy to answer his questions.
So here’s the bottom line of what she said:
Our home study has been assigned for approval and is actually in someone’s hands.
My husband is one of the most easygoing people you’ll ever meet. He’s no one’s doormat, but he generally tries to look for the best in people, understand where they’re coming from, and find a way to work with them. I’ve never met anyone who has an unkind word to say about him.
But as things progressed and we e-mailed Mia re: our concerns, only to be ignored, and when we found out that the bulk of our homestudy paperwork had not been sent, O got angry. I rarely see him angry and I have to say, it actually made me happy. It was validation that I wasn’t crazy – that things actually WERE seriously screwed up with this situation. Anyway, in the midst of the madness, he told me that he was sorry – that he was just realizing all I’d been doing and all I’d been dealing with. And he wanted to take over some of that. I cannot tell you what a relief that was for me.
Since then, he’s the one who has been communicating with Mia’s supervisor and getting answers to our questions. He wants to set up a meeting with Mia’s supervisor (let’s call her Nicole) for several reasons. First of all, she’s never met us. If she’s going to be involved in this process, we would like her to know us, even a little bit. Secondly, we really want to get to the bottom of what the issue is with Mia. If we weren’t forced to continue to work with her, we’d happily say “good riddance” and let it go. As it is, she’s still our worker and she’s still yet to respond to the letter we sent outlining our concerns. We want to find out just what the problem is in hopes that we can either work with her or work around her. Finally, we want to find out where we go from here. Will communication from the state still be set up to go through Mia or will Nicole be involved? Blah blah blah . . .
I said all that to say this . . .
O called Nicole yesterday morning to get that meeting set up, and also to get a bit of clarification on the e-mail she sent on Monday (the e-mail that said our home study was currently being approved and would then go to the caseworker representing the child we’re interested in.) Anyway, they had a great conversation. She was really kind and helpful, knew our case well, and was happy to answer his questions.
So here’s the bottom line of what she said:
Our home study has been assigned for approval and is actually in someone’s hands.
The woman who gave the worker our home study told her that we’d been waiting a long time through several “snafu’s” and to put a rush on it.
When O mentioned wanting to take a few minutes to meet with her, she said that she expected our approval to come anytime in the next few days (provided there are no problems) and that we could sit down then, get our questions answered, and map out a direction to go from here at that time.
Let me repeat:
He said it sounded like she was expecting our approval to come anytime now.
Needless to say, I am currently crossing every body part that I am physically able to cross.
Lucky that I’m double jointed, huh?
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Tagged
I was recently tagged by the lovely and inspirational Lisa , so away we go . . .
Favorite food? pizza or Mexican food
How would the person who loves you most describe you in ten words or less? the love of my life
Any regrets in life? Loaning a former best friend $35,000+ over the course of several years. It ruined our friendship. (More specifically, our friendship was ruined because he chose not to pay me back.) I learned a lot of valuable lessons though.
Favorite Charity/ Cause? Make a Wish
Something you can’t get enough of? Time with my husband
Worst job you’ve ever had? I worked at Brown's Chicken in suburban Chicago in high school . . . for about a week. I had to wear brown polyester and a creepy brown hat and went home smelling like chicken and coated in a thin layer of grease. It was horrifying.
If you could be a fly on the wall, where? in the state adoption office if/when they finally review our home study
Guilty Pleasure? reading Peo*ple and U*S magazines while taking a bubble bath
Got any confessions? Well, I try not to miss Judge Judy if I'm home when she's on. I know, I know - stop laughing.
If you HAD to spend $1,000 on YOURSELF, how would you spend it? Depending on the time of year, I'd head to the garden center for flowers, flowers, flowers or I'd go crazy online ordering Christmas decorations.
Favorite thing about your house? We built on what was O's grandparents' farm, so every little corner of each acre holds a nice memory for O. Also, I love our big trees, woods, and ponds.
Worst thing about your house? Currently it's that someone has dumped two huge piles of chicken poop in the field across the street. I'm assured that it will be removed before the Father's Day barbecue we have planned this weekend.
One thing you are bad at? Waiting
If you could change something about your circumstances, what would it be? I would be a parent.
Who would you like to meet someday? I'd love to see my grandparents again someday, hug their necks, and tell them how very much I loved and missed them.
What makes you feel sexy? taking care of myself, eating right, and exercising
Who is your real life hero? foster/adoptive parents
What is the hardest part of your job? I don't have one at the moment, so I'm going to say, "no income"
When are you most relaxed? At bedtime when I crawl into bed with my husband, lay my head on his chest, and he puts his arm around me. Happens every single night.
What stresses you out? waiting
What can you not live without? my husband, time with my friends, a place to grow things, air conditioning
Do you agree or disagree with the recent article that reported that blogs are authored by narcissists? Why would they write such things about ME?
Why do you blog? first and foremost as a record for myself of this crazy life, secondly to keep friends updated, thirdly for the amazing support I get from the people who read and comment
Okay, I know I need to tag some people now so here goes . . .If you read this, consider yourself tagged!
Favorite food? pizza or Mexican food
How would the person who loves you most describe you in ten words or less? the love of my life
Any regrets in life? Loaning a former best friend $35,000+ over the course of several years. It ruined our friendship. (More specifically, our friendship was ruined because he chose not to pay me back.) I learned a lot of valuable lessons though.
Favorite Charity/ Cause? Make a Wish
Something you can’t get enough of? Time with my husband
Worst job you’ve ever had? I worked at Brown's Chicken in suburban Chicago in high school . . . for about a week. I had to wear brown polyester and a creepy brown hat and went home smelling like chicken and coated in a thin layer of grease. It was horrifying.
If you could be a fly on the wall, where? in the state adoption office if/when they finally review our home study
Guilty Pleasure? reading Peo*ple and U*S magazines while taking a bubble bath
Got any confessions? Well, I try not to miss Judge Judy if I'm home when she's on. I know, I know - stop laughing.
If you HAD to spend $1,000 on YOURSELF, how would you spend it? Depending on the time of year, I'd head to the garden center for flowers, flowers, flowers or I'd go crazy online ordering Christmas decorations.
Favorite thing about your house? We built on what was O's grandparents' farm, so every little corner of each acre holds a nice memory for O. Also, I love our big trees, woods, and ponds.
Worst thing about your house? Currently it's that someone has dumped two huge piles of chicken poop in the field across the street. I'm assured that it will be removed before the Father's Day barbecue we have planned this weekend.
One thing you are bad at? Waiting
If you could change something about your circumstances, what would it be? I would be a parent.
Who would you like to meet someday? I'd love to see my grandparents again someday, hug their necks, and tell them how very much I loved and missed them.
What makes you feel sexy? taking care of myself, eating right, and exercising
Who is your real life hero? foster/adoptive parents
What is the hardest part of your job? I don't have one at the moment, so I'm going to say, "no income"
When are you most relaxed? At bedtime when I crawl into bed with my husband, lay my head on his chest, and he puts his arm around me. Happens every single night.
What stresses you out? waiting
What can you not live without? my husband, time with my friends, a place to grow things, air conditioning
Do you agree or disagree with the recent article that reported that blogs are authored by narcissists? Why would they write such things about ME?
Why do you blog? first and foremost as a record for myself of this crazy life, secondly to keep friends updated, thirdly for the amazing support I get from the people who read and comment
Okay, I know I need to tag some people now so here goes . . .If you read this, consider yourself tagged!
Monday, June 9, 2008
The "P" Word
Could it be?
Dare I say it?
Could there actually be PROGRESS on getting our home study reviewed/approved?
I got the following e-mail a few minutes ago from our social worker's supervisor:
I just spoke with C.. Your home study is at the state office and is being approved at this time. As soon as it is approved, it is being forwarded to the worker for the child you are inquiring about.
Hmmmm.
Does that mean that our home study has actually been assigned and is in someone's hands, or is it just in the "to be assigned" pile where it's been sitting (albeit incomplete) since March?
Who knows? But I have to say, I have the teeny tiniest spark of hope. Of course, now I'm waiting for the bucket of cold water to come splashing in from some direction and extinguish it. Leftover pessimism from infertility, I'm thinking.
Oh well, at the very least we are now communicating with someone who actually communicates back. Sometimes it's the little things in life that make you happy.
Dare I say it?
Could there actually be PROGRESS on getting our home study reviewed/approved?
I got the following e-mail a few minutes ago from our social worker's supervisor:
I just spoke with C.. Your home study is at the state office and is being approved at this time. As soon as it is approved, it is being forwarded to the worker for the child you are inquiring about.
Hmmmm.
Does that mean that our home study has actually been assigned and is in someone's hands, or is it just in the "to be assigned" pile where it's been sitting (albeit incomplete) since March?
Who knows? But I have to say, I have the teeny tiniest spark of hope. Of course, now I'm waiting for the bucket of cold water to come splashing in from some direction and extinguish it. Leftover pessimism from infertility, I'm thinking.
Oh well, at the very least we are now communicating with someone who actually communicates back. Sometimes it's the little things in life that make you happy.
Columbus
My grandmother Dodie and my grandfather Pat were born in Columbus Indiana. They met there as school children. They married there, in the front room of Dodie’s parents’ farmhouse one quiet Christmas Eve. During their marriage, they moved around for my grandfather’s job but Columbus was always, always home. It wasn’t surprising, then, when after my grandfather’s death in the early 1970’s, Dodie packed her things and moved back to Columbus, into a little second floor apartment with big windows for growing her violets. Even in an apartment, her green thumb would not be ignored.
I wasn’t particularly close to Dodie growing up. She lived far away and I only saw her once or twice a year. But after my aunt (her only daughter) passed away, I stepped in to do all those things for her that only another woman would think of. We just fell in love with each other and remained close until she died on a sunny May afternoon as I held her hand and told her goodbye.
My grandmother was a born story teller. I could sit and listen to her for hours. More often than not, her stories took us back to Columbus – stories of her life growing up on the farm, of exploring the nearby woods and streams until she knew them like the back of her hand, of meeting my grandfather, and of the people they knew and the lives they’d lived.
I’ve been to Columbus many times, most recently to bury Dodie beside my grandfather whom she loved all her life.
Today Columbus is under water. After 10+ inches of rain, the river crested this weekend pouring water into the city. The hospital and nursing homes have been evacuated. Roads are washed out. Many people have lost everything.
I cried this morning as I watched CNN and saw the devastation, thinking of Dodie and her love for that town, of our family who still lives there (they’re fine), and of the men and women whose lives will never be the same.
The people of central Indiana are truly the salt of the earth. They are hard-working, generous and proud. They would give you the shirts off their backs and then ask what else they could do.
I'm thinking of them today.
Monday, June 2, 2008
Changes in Attitude
I am so grateful for the outpouring of support I’ve received from all of you the past few days. Your comments and e-mails were just what I needed to snap me out of my funk.
I am many things but I am not a quitter, and I am not ready to give up on adopting from the foster system – not by a long shot. Rather, I have decided to become Mia’s supervisor’s shadow, checking in each week for a status report on our home study. Yes, I’m quite certain that she’s going to get sick of hearing from me but I spent months sitting back, waiting and assuming that Mia was actually doing the job she was paid to do. That got me nowhere. So now, a more proactive (translated: irritating) approach seems appropriate.
Y’all lit a fire under me. I can’t thank you enough.
The weekend that I was dreading turned out beautifully.
Friday was our nephew’s graduation. The pre-graduation cookout at my SIL’s house was fine. As you may recall, I’d been dreading seeing the girl who’d e-mailed me about her IF and then stopped communicating altogether once she got pregnant. She was there with her newborn. I didn’t have it in me to go up and oooh and aaah over the baby, more because my feelings are still hurt about the way I was treated rather than anything to do with the baby. But the house was absolutely packed with family so it was easy to engage in conversations elsewhere and lose myself in the chaos.
Graduation itself was a big yawn. The superintendent lead off the ceremony with what was possibly the world’s most boring speech. Think statistics on the free school lunch program and the testing of English as Second Language students. He then proceeded to finish his speech with a long list of quotes from famous men, all run together with no comments in between. I am told that he does that every single year. Anyway, I happened to zone back in for the quote I think I needed to hear.
“Never never never give up.” – Winston Churchill
Of course, what he actually said was:
“Never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.”
Timely, I thought, not that Mia is "the enemy".
We had a lot of friends in town for graduation weekend so we decided to take advantage of it and have a big barbecue at our house on Saturday night – about 25 people including a few kids. Luckily I was almost done cooking several of the things that go into my picnic-type salads when my oven and burners stopped working about 7:30 a.m. on Saturday morning. Sigh! Thankfully my neighbors let us cook the baked beans in their oven. Anyway, it was a good time and everyone went away happily stuffed, I think.
But to you parents of children between the ages of two and four . . . when you’re done at the computer, just go lay down for a few minutes. I am quite certain that you need a nap. You DESERVE a nap! I was tired just watching the moms and dads at our picnic chasing their little ones around.
Saturday’s other big adventure? I went to see “Sex and the City” with one of my friends. How much did I love that movie?!?!? I laughed and cried. I missed those girls!
So the weekend I dreaded was wonderful - filled with family and friends and wonderful memories. I am so happy about that.
Well, I’d best get on with my day but again THANK YOU to those of you who lifted me up when I needed it most. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate each and every one of you. If we end up finding our child in the foster system it will be, in part, because of YOU.
Happy week everybody!
I am many things but I am not a quitter, and I am not ready to give up on adopting from the foster system – not by a long shot. Rather, I have decided to become Mia’s supervisor’s shadow, checking in each week for a status report on our home study. Yes, I’m quite certain that she’s going to get sick of hearing from me but I spent months sitting back, waiting and assuming that Mia was actually doing the job she was paid to do. That got me nowhere. So now, a more proactive (translated: irritating) approach seems appropriate.
Y’all lit a fire under me. I can’t thank you enough.
The weekend that I was dreading turned out beautifully.
Friday was our nephew’s graduation. The pre-graduation cookout at my SIL’s house was fine. As you may recall, I’d been dreading seeing the girl who’d e-mailed me about her IF and then stopped communicating altogether once she got pregnant. She was there with her newborn. I didn’t have it in me to go up and oooh and aaah over the baby, more because my feelings are still hurt about the way I was treated rather than anything to do with the baby. But the house was absolutely packed with family so it was easy to engage in conversations elsewhere and lose myself in the chaos.
Graduation itself was a big yawn. The superintendent lead off the ceremony with what was possibly the world’s most boring speech. Think statistics on the free school lunch program and the testing of English as Second Language students. He then proceeded to finish his speech with a long list of quotes from famous men, all run together with no comments in between. I am told that he does that every single year. Anyway, I happened to zone back in for the quote I think I needed to hear.
“Never never never give up.” – Winston Churchill
Of course, what he actually said was:
“Never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.”
Timely, I thought, not that Mia is "the enemy".
We had a lot of friends in town for graduation weekend so we decided to take advantage of it and have a big barbecue at our house on Saturday night – about 25 people including a few kids. Luckily I was almost done cooking several of the things that go into my picnic-type salads when my oven and burners stopped working about 7:30 a.m. on Saturday morning. Sigh! Thankfully my neighbors let us cook the baked beans in their oven. Anyway, it was a good time and everyone went away happily stuffed, I think.
But to you parents of children between the ages of two and four . . . when you’re done at the computer, just go lay down for a few minutes. I am quite certain that you need a nap. You DESERVE a nap! I was tired just watching the moms and dads at our picnic chasing their little ones around.
Saturday’s other big adventure? I went to see “Sex and the City” with one of my friends. How much did I love that movie?!?!? I laughed and cried. I missed those girls!
So the weekend I dreaded was wonderful - filled with family and friends and wonderful memories. I am so happy about that.
Well, I’d best get on with my day but again THANK YOU to those of you who lifted me up when I needed it most. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate each and every one of you. If we end up finding our child in the foster system it will be, in part, because of YOU.
Happy week everybody!
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