If you read this blog, you know that early this month was a real low point for me in the foster/adopt journey. During that period, I think O understood for the very first time just how frustrating this process has been for me. He’s always been great – really supportive and on board with things, but I’m the one who has done most of the “work”. I’ve filled out the forms, set up the appointments, done the research, tried to pull information out of Mia, and gone in search of other resources when she let us down. By default, that meant I was the one who had done most of the fretting, stewing, and banging (her) head against the wall.
My husband is one of the most easygoing people you’ll ever meet. He’s no one’s doormat, but he generally tries to look for the best in people, understand where they’re coming from, and find a way to work with them. I’ve never met anyone who has an unkind word to say about him.
But as things progressed and we e-mailed Mia re: our concerns, only to be ignored, and when we found out that the bulk of our homestudy paperwork had not been sent, O got angry. I rarely see him angry and I have to say, it actually made me happy. It was validation that I wasn’t crazy – that things actually WERE seriously screwed up with this situation. Anyway, in the midst of the madness, he told me that he was sorry – that he was just realizing all I’d been doing and all I’d been dealing with. And he wanted to take over some of that. I cannot tell you what a relief that was for me.
Since then, he’s the one who has been communicating with Mia’s supervisor and getting answers to our questions. He wants to set up a meeting with Mia’s supervisor (let’s call her Nicole) for several reasons. First of all, she’s never met us. If she’s going to be involved in this process, we would like her to know us, even a little bit. Secondly, we really want to get to the bottom of what the issue is with Mia. If we weren’t forced to continue to work with her, we’d happily say “good riddance” and let it go. As it is, she’s still our worker and she’s still yet to respond to the letter we sent outlining our concerns. We want to find out just what the problem is in hopes that we can either work with her or work around her. Finally, we want to find out where we go from here. Will communication from the state still be set up to go through Mia or will Nicole be involved? Blah blah blah . . .
I said all that to say this . . .
O called Nicole yesterday morning to get that meeting set up, and also to get a bit of clarification on the e-mail she sent on Monday (the e-mail that said our home study was currently being approved and would then go to the caseworker representing the child we’re interested in.) Anyway, they had a great conversation. She was really kind and helpful, knew our case well, and was happy to answer his questions.
So here’s the bottom line of what she said:
Our home study has been assigned for approval and is actually in someone’s hands.
My husband is one of the most easygoing people you’ll ever meet. He’s no one’s doormat, but he generally tries to look for the best in people, understand where they’re coming from, and find a way to work with them. I’ve never met anyone who has an unkind word to say about him.
But as things progressed and we e-mailed Mia re: our concerns, only to be ignored, and when we found out that the bulk of our homestudy paperwork had not been sent, O got angry. I rarely see him angry and I have to say, it actually made me happy. It was validation that I wasn’t crazy – that things actually WERE seriously screwed up with this situation. Anyway, in the midst of the madness, he told me that he was sorry – that he was just realizing all I’d been doing and all I’d been dealing with. And he wanted to take over some of that. I cannot tell you what a relief that was for me.
Since then, he’s the one who has been communicating with Mia’s supervisor and getting answers to our questions. He wants to set up a meeting with Mia’s supervisor (let’s call her Nicole) for several reasons. First of all, she’s never met us. If she’s going to be involved in this process, we would like her to know us, even a little bit. Secondly, we really want to get to the bottom of what the issue is with Mia. If we weren’t forced to continue to work with her, we’d happily say “good riddance” and let it go. As it is, she’s still our worker and she’s still yet to respond to the letter we sent outlining our concerns. We want to find out just what the problem is in hopes that we can either work with her or work around her. Finally, we want to find out where we go from here. Will communication from the state still be set up to go through Mia or will Nicole be involved? Blah blah blah . . .
I said all that to say this . . .
O called Nicole yesterday morning to get that meeting set up, and also to get a bit of clarification on the e-mail she sent on Monday (the e-mail that said our home study was currently being approved and would then go to the caseworker representing the child we’re interested in.) Anyway, they had a great conversation. She was really kind and helpful, knew our case well, and was happy to answer his questions.
So here’s the bottom line of what she said:
Our home study has been assigned for approval and is actually in someone’s hands.
The woman who gave the worker our home study told her that we’d been waiting a long time through several “snafu’s” and to put a rush on it.
When O mentioned wanting to take a few minutes to meet with her, she said that she expected our approval to come anytime in the next few days (provided there are no problems) and that we could sit down then, get our questions answered, and map out a direction to go from here at that time.
Let me repeat:
He said it sounded like she was expecting our approval to come anytime now.
Needless to say, I am currently crossing every body part that I am physically able to cross.
Lucky that I’m double jointed, huh?
