I am so unbelievably ready for fall. I want cool breezes. I want to plant pansies and rake big piles of leaves to burn. I want to drink apple cider and carve pumpkins. I want to dig out my sweaters and decorate the house so it looks like autumn exploded in our den. (Okay, okay . . . so I did that a couple of days ago. It’s a tradition each year that when my husband plays in his country club’s golf tournament, I decorate the house for fall. Never mind that it’s currently 90 degrees outside.)My happiness about our choice to walk away from fertility treatments continues to grow day by day. I can’t explain the weight that was lifted from my shoulders as I got rid of all things IF-related.
Goodbye Follis*tim! You sat in my fridge and taunted me for seven months. Off you go to someone who will actually make good use of you.
Au Revoir big bag of unused needles! Never again will you fall out of my medicine cabinet in the middle of the night and clatter all over the floor.
Adios huge binder of brochures, articles, test results, and treatment plans! You were enormous wastes of paper.
Ta ta online calendar where I tracked periods (or lack thereof), medication, and appointment dates! Hate you.
Ciao ovulation predictor and pregnancy tests! Hate you too.
And finally, a big GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE to months of hoping that I’m pregnant, only to have my heart broken every time! I’ll miss you least of all.
(Insert the dance of joy here.)
Life has been busy recently. O’s dad had hip replacement surgery a couple of weeks ago and for a while it seemed that one or both of us were either at the hospital or on our way to or from it. Happily, my FIL has done well in rehab and will be headed home tomorrow.
I went to our most recent IF support group meeting last week and was able to meet up with K., who I’d been e-mailing and talking with for a while. We’d hit it off immediately so I was excited at the prospect of finally getting together. She was wonderful – really generous in sharing all of the research she’d done on adoption. I liked her right away and knew we were kindred spirits the moment she pulled out a huge, beautifully organized binder just chock full of information. (I am a girl who LOVES a good binder with color-coordinated divider tabs. Makes me happy!) Anyway, I feel like I made a good friend that night and can’t help but be reminded that every once in a while, being infertile has brought some wonderful things into my life.
Our first step towards become parents through the foster-to-adopt program is complete. We filled out our initial paperwork and returned it to our social worker last week. We are so excited!
I’ve already talked to our social worked a couple of times. I’d been warned that I would probably have to chase her down for information but she’s been great so far – quick to return calls and to get our paperwork to us. An inside source told me that this is a very political process (HI inside source!!), and that kids are often placed based on who the social workers like most rather than who has been waiting the longest. So I am doing my darndest to be charming and competent, serious yet light-hearted, and as little trouble as I can possibly be. Can’t hurt – might help!
Plans are already underway for turning one of our guest rooms into a child’s room. I’ve chosen a paint color (always subject to change) – a pale yellow which should work for either a boy or girl, no matter the age. I’m in the process of sanding a bed that my MIL had made for her when she was three. It’s been out in one of our barns for decades, and she's excited that we’re cleaning it up and putting it to good us. It’s finish is pretty beat up, so I think I’m going to paint it a crisp white, along with a chest of drawers that was my grandmother’s. Usually I would throw a fit about someone painting over the original finish on an almost-antique piece of furniture, but I really love the sentimentality of our someday child using its’ grandmother’s bed and its’ great grandmother’s chest of drawers.
On top of that, I’m hard at work on a patchwork quilt to go on the bed. I chose patterns in red, royal blue, bright & pale yellows, and pale green. I want it to be warm and welcoming and happy. I am pouring a lot of love into it.
I sent an e-mail to our close friends and family last week letting them know that we were changing course on our quest to become parents. The responses were so loving and supportive. They didn’t have the mournful undercurrent that people seemed to have re: our IF treatments. I’m sure part of that is simply that people are mirroring back our own excitement about becoming parents in this way.
Gosh, there is so much to look forward to these days . . . the first college football game of the season on Saturday with our brand new coach, a visit from my dear friend K from New Orleans next weekend, cooler temperatures, our foster/adopt classes, a trip to Virginia & Pennsylvania in early October, getting a child's room ready, high school football games on Friday nights, and of course the holidays are just around the corner. Tra la la! Love this time of year!
Well, better scoot. I have to go water our pumpkin patch which, by the way, is actually producing PUMPKINS! I am a punkin' farmer. Who knew?!?!
