Isn’t it funny how you can think you have something under control? Handled? That you’re calm and breeeezy about it - going through your day hardly thinking about it at all?
And then night comes. And you remember just how NON-BREEZY you are.
I had a couple of girlfriends visit for several days over the July 4th weekend. It was exactly what I needed – day after day of good conversation and a ridiculous amount of laughter. I rarely even thought about the situation with Amy and Chris and when I did, my stomach didn’t immediately clench. I was feeling pretty good about that.
Until Tuesday night.
Tuesday night I dreamed that we were in the state where Chris lives, visiting with him, and a man who was clearly a social worker or someone with DF&ACS told us that within a week, there would be a court hearing where Chris would be placed permanently with us. Then he handed him over to me and I took him in my arms. I felt the warmth and weight of his little body. I smelled his crazy curly hair. I looked into his gorgeous eyes and could not believe it was happening. I remember thinking, “This must be a dream” and the joke was on me ‘cause it WAS a dream. But it seemed so real. I can still close my eyes all these days later and feel what it was like to hold him in my arms.
I woke up so disappointed – not a good way to start the day, by the way – and I really haven’t been able to shake it ever since.
Because here’s the truth . . . I really really want this to happen. Really badly. And I am afraid that it won’t. I'm even afraid of TELLING YOU how much I want this to happen for fear of jinxing any chance we might have. And I don't think that chance is great.
There’s that clench in my stomach again.
There isn’t much we can do at this point – one of the most frustrating aspects of this situation. But O and I may have come up with something. We think it might help for us to road trip to Chris and Amy’s state to meet with Chris’ social worker and the adoption worker who doesn’t want him to be placed out of state.
We’d like for them to meet us, and to see that we’re not flaky people.
We’d like to hand them our home study, scrapbook, and approval letter.
We’d like to look them in the eye and have a conversation.
We’d also like to see if we can get some answers.
They seem to want Amy to see the process through to the end, which I can understand, but that end will most likely be TPR – and most likely sooner rather than later. TPR could be granted any time she steps into court, and *poof*, she’ll walk out with absolutely no say regarding what happens to her son. So I think it’s important for DF#ACS to really understand Amy’s wishes and agree now to place him with us even if the case does go to TPR.
We’ll find out today if Amy wants to set up that meeting and be a part of it. Let’s hope she thinks it's a good idea and that we can get something scheduled soon. The next court date is looming.
And then night comes. And you remember just how NON-BREEZY you are.
I had a couple of girlfriends visit for several days over the July 4th weekend. It was exactly what I needed – day after day of good conversation and a ridiculous amount of laughter. I rarely even thought about the situation with Amy and Chris and when I did, my stomach didn’t immediately clench. I was feeling pretty good about that.
Until Tuesday night.
Tuesday night I dreamed that we were in the state where Chris lives, visiting with him, and a man who was clearly a social worker or someone with DF&ACS told us that within a week, there would be a court hearing where Chris would be placed permanently with us. Then he handed him over to me and I took him in my arms. I felt the warmth and weight of his little body. I smelled his crazy curly hair. I looked into his gorgeous eyes and could not believe it was happening. I remember thinking, “This must be a dream” and the joke was on me ‘cause it WAS a dream. But it seemed so real. I can still close my eyes all these days later and feel what it was like to hold him in my arms.
I woke up so disappointed – not a good way to start the day, by the way – and I really haven’t been able to shake it ever since.
Because here’s the truth . . . I really really want this to happen. Really badly. And I am afraid that it won’t. I'm even afraid of TELLING YOU how much I want this to happen for fear of jinxing any chance we might have. And I don't think that chance is great.
There’s that clench in my stomach again.
There isn’t much we can do at this point – one of the most frustrating aspects of this situation. But O and I may have come up with something. We think it might help for us to road trip to Chris and Amy’s state to meet with Chris’ social worker and the adoption worker who doesn’t want him to be placed out of state.
We’d like for them to meet us, and to see that we’re not flaky people.
We’d like to hand them our home study, scrapbook, and approval letter.
We’d like to look them in the eye and have a conversation.
We’d also like to see if we can get some answers.
They seem to want Amy to see the process through to the end, which I can understand, but that end will most likely be TPR – and most likely sooner rather than later. TPR could be granted any time she steps into court, and *poof*, she’ll walk out with absolutely no say regarding what happens to her son. So I think it’s important for DF#ACS to really understand Amy’s wishes and agree now to place him with us even if the case does go to TPR.
We’ll find out today if Amy wants to set up that meeting and be a part of it. Let’s hope she thinks it's a good idea and that we can get something scheduled soon. The next court date is looming.
