We went weeks without hearing anything about the two babies. I will never get used to the "hurry up and wait" aspects of this process.
In the meantime, I decided to call a pediatrician friend of mind and she echoed my concerns about bringing a little one with severe asthma into a home (albeit a very clean home) with pets. It would have been a "let's just see what happens" situation. No thank you. Asthma is nothing to be messed around with and babies are not guinea pigs. I told CW to please withdraw us from consideration. She agreed that that was probably best. I didn't get the feeling that anything was happening with the case anyway.
But my oh my, have we had a heartbreak this week.
Two very medical fragile babies. Beyond gorgeous.
D*C*F*S ideally wanted them placed in a home together, of course, but their care was so intensive that they were strongly considering separate homes until surgeries could resolve some of the medical issues.
We knew that we didn't have the support system in place to care for two babies who would need eyes on them 24/7 (and when I say 24/7, it is no exaggeration), but after much conversation we agreed to take one with the offer to adopt both after their surgeries, provided we could get a few basic questions answered first.
Our CW said she was almost sure they'd have to separate them - that their care would be too much for one foster home.
Our hopes went up.
Soared . . . to the point that I was figuring out how to arrange our bedroom for the baby to sleep with us each night so we could care for it.
We visited them in the hospital. We held and comforted them. We learned a little bit about their daily care. We dared to dream that they might be our babies, until I got an email from our worker yesterday morning.
They found the babies a home together.
Best for them, but heartbreaking for us.
Even O was shaken by the news.
He too had dared to hope.
Hope - - - she is such a b*tch.
When will I ever learn?
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