The first little pumpkin of the year from our pumpkin patch!
Nothing new on the adoption front. At least no progress.
Nicole, the SW supervisor, sent us an e-mail over a month ago listing the last few things that needed to be completed on our home study. She said she’d forwarded that list to Mia-the-worthless-social-worker and told her it needed to be completed immediately.
So late last week when I got an update from the state office letting us know that it was still incomplete, I wrote Nikki the following:
According to an e-mail update I received this morning, our home study in the state office is still incomplete. The worker waiting for the information said she’s received part of the information she requested but not everything, and that you were aware of what was still missing.
To my knowledge based on your e-mail of three+ weeks ago, the following is still needed: 1. our contingency plan and 2. information on our first and second family consultations, which occurred in January and February respectively
Your e-mail also mentioned that you told Mia this needed to be completed “immediately”. Can you please tell me when these three things will be sent to Mont*gomery? Thanks so much!
In response I got back this snotty little e-mail:
Kelly,
Everything will be sent to the state office as soon as possible. Unfortunately, your case is not the only thing we have to work on. We are receiving reports of child abuse and neglect everyday and those have to be completed immediately. To my knowledge, Mia completed the home visit with your contingency plan and is in the process of typing the needed information. As soon as this is completed, it will be sent in.
I was so livid when I got this that I was literally crying, and that has never been my reaction to anger. DO NOT talk down to me and DO NOT act as if I’m being impatient or unreasonable. My response was as follows:
Nicole, the SW supervisor, sent us an e-mail over a month ago listing the last few things that needed to be completed on our home study. She said she’d forwarded that list to Mia-the-worthless-social-worker and told her it needed to be completed immediately.
So late last week when I got an update from the state office letting us know that it was still incomplete, I wrote Nikki the following:
According to an e-mail update I received this morning, our home study in the state office is still incomplete. The worker waiting for the information said she’s received part of the information she requested but not everything, and that you were aware of what was still missing.
To my knowledge based on your e-mail of three+ weeks ago, the following is still needed: 1. our contingency plan and 2. information on our first and second family consultations, which occurred in January and February respectively
Your e-mail also mentioned that you told Mia this needed to be completed “immediately”. Can you please tell me when these three things will be sent to Mont*gomery? Thanks so much!
In response I got back this snotty little e-mail:
Kelly,
Everything will be sent to the state office as soon as possible. Unfortunately, your case is not the only thing we have to work on. We are receiving reports of child abuse and neglect everyday and those have to be completed immediately. To my knowledge, Mia completed the home visit with your contingency plan and is in the process of typing the needed information. As soon as this is completed, it will be sent in.
I was so livid when I got this that I was literally crying, and that has never been my reaction to anger. DO NOT talk down to me and DO NOT act as if I’m being impatient or unreasonable. My response was as follows:
Nicole,
It wasn’t my intention to irritate or disturb you and from the tone of your last e-mail, it seems that I have.
O and I are very much aware that your first priorities must be the children of this county who may be in danger and the foster parents who have agreed to care for them. Because we have chosen not to foster, we know that we are on the bottom of the priority list. That is how it should be and we have no problem with that.
That being said, our final home study visit was the first week of March and our paperwork is still incomplete. Experience has shown us that if we sit back and assume that things are being taken care of, months can pass (and have passed) with no progress whatsoever. That’s why we try to keep on top of the status of the remaining paperwork every couple of weeks.
I referred to the word “immediately” in my previous e-mail because that was what you wrote in your e-mail of August 29th: “I have sent Mia an email with a copy to the Director telling her this needs to be completed immediately.”
We clearly misunderstood because after reading that, we actually did think that completing our home study would then become a priority for Mia and that it would be taken care of quickly – at least within a week or two. Now over three weeks later, I didn’t think it was unreasonable to send an e-mail wondering what the status was and why the worker at the state office is still waiting for several things.
Heaven knows we are certainly not perfect people, but I think we have been pretty patient through this process. However, if you found this morning’s e-mail unreasonable or irritating, I certainly apologize.
What I actually wanted to write would have been a bit more - colorful, shall we say - but would have most likely removed us from consideration as potential adoptive parents.
Anyway, I sent that final e-mail last Friday and never heard anything back – didn’t expect to.
But we’ve got bigger fish to fry at the moment.
We’ve discovered through a routine C*A*T scan that O’s mom has an aortic aneurysm caused by a leaky valve in her heart. She’s had the leaky valve for years, but it’s much worse now so she’ll need open hea*rt surgery.
Her regular cardiologist was out of town so she went to one of his partners to get her test results. (It’s never good when you have a test like that and they call you two hours later to come back to discuss the results.) That was a less than successful appointment. She and her husband were already scared and on edge, I’m sure. Add to that some snippy nurses, and a doctor with a hard-to-understand-accent who was running extremely late and had no bedside manner and it was a recipe for disaster. She left scheduled for surgery this week.
But when I started looking at the operative releases they had her sign, they didn’t match up with what she and her husband thought she was having done. I called O’s sister, E, who is a nurse in the cardiology field, and we basically put a halt to the surgery they had quickly scheduled until we could gather more information. (The surgery was not considered an emergency, by the way, or we would not have cancelled it.)
She had one additional test yesterday which confirmed the aneur*ysm and need for val*ve replacement but ruled out an arter*ial blockage they’d seen on another test, so happily no bypass will be necessary.
I spent literally hours on the phone talking to friends and family to find out which cardiac practices they recommended. We are fortunate to have two of the best in the country within two hours’ drive. She had appointments scheduled with the top physicians at both both, but in the end those were cancelled and she’s going to see a vascu*lar surgeon close to home. My gut tells me to throw a fit and insist that she goes to one of these two top heart centers. If it was my mother, that’s what would be happening . . . period. But I don’t have a say. Anyway, her appointment is next Wednesday. We'll know more then, I'd imagine.
I’ve gingerly done some research on the internet just like a little kid peeking through her fingers at the scary part of a movie. (Okay, I still do that.) I want to gather enough information to know what to expect, mostly so I can let my husband know, but I don’t want to get far enough into it to read all the horror stories I’m sure Dr. Google would have in store for me. Dr. Google never seems to have good news about anything.
And as evidence that I am a complete ass, one of the things I’m worried about in this whole situation is our trip to Oregon. We’re supposed to leave in two weeks but that's doubtful at this point, which makes me want to cry. You have never met two people who are looking forward to (and in need of ) a trip more than O and I.
That being said our first priority is, without question, O’s mom, her health, and supporting her and her husband through this. We’d never for one moment consider leaving if she’s in the hospital or was to have surgery while we were gone. Never. We're just sad at the prospect of cancelling the trip we've been planning for six months.
She had one additional test yesterday which confirmed the aneur*ysm and need for val*ve replacement but ruled out an arter*ial blockage they’d seen on another test, so happily no bypass will be necessary.
I spent literally hours on the phone talking to friends and family to find out which cardiac practices they recommended. We are fortunate to have two of the best in the country within two hours’ drive. She had appointments scheduled with the top physicians at both both, but in the end those were cancelled and she’s going to see a vascu*lar surgeon close to home. My gut tells me to throw a fit and insist that she goes to one of these two top heart centers. If it was my mother, that’s what would be happening . . . period. But I don’t have a say. Anyway, her appointment is next Wednesday. We'll know more then, I'd imagine.
I’ve gingerly done some research on the internet just like a little kid peeking through her fingers at the scary part of a movie. (Okay, I still do that.) I want to gather enough information to know what to expect, mostly so I can let my husband know, but I don’t want to get far enough into it to read all the horror stories I’m sure Dr. Google would have in store for me. Dr. Google never seems to have good news about anything.
And as evidence that I am a complete ass, one of the things I’m worried about in this whole situation is our trip to Oregon. We’re supposed to leave in two weeks but that's doubtful at this point, which makes me want to cry. You have never met two people who are looking forward to (and in need of ) a trip more than O and I.
That being said our first priority is, without question, O’s mom, her health, and supporting her and her husband through this. We’d never for one moment consider leaving if she’s in the hospital or was to have surgery while we were gone. Never. We're just sad at the prospect of cancelling the trip we've been planning for six months.
Frankly, I am mostly concerned with taking good care of O right now. He is so worried about his mom. We’ve both been lucky to be in our 40’s and have all of our parents in good health, so this is a pretty new experience for us.
Well, we’re having friends over for the football game this Saturday and on Sunday will have about 20 people over to celebrate O’s mom’s birthday so I need to go construct a grocery list and get started cleaning this house.
But boy oh boy am I tired. Nap anyone?
