Well, we got our answer back from the J, our SW. She really is great to respond to things in a timely manner – such a breath of fresh air given what we dealt with for most of last year.
There’s some good news and some bad news.
Good - J already had a list of what was missing from our home study. It was sent to Mia from the state months ago.
Good – She sent the missing paperwork to the state office last week.
Bad – We have approval letters from both the state bureau of investigation and F*B*I but they have our old county’s name on them. J requested updated letters back in December which will have our new county listed, but they have not arrived yet. Until they do, there is a possibility that the state worker can’t/won’t review our home study. There is also a possibility that she will. It’s basically a coin toss.
Good – J has read our home study and says it’s extremely positive. She also said that if the state worker thought there would be any problem with approving us, she would have sent a request for additional information as far as our background goes. She only requested typical paperwork that Mia should have sent in the first place.
Ridiculous – It takes TWO WEEKS to receive mail at the state office. Two Freaking Weeks! Can you imagine running a business where incoming mail took two weeks to reach your desk? Breathtaking. Anyway, that means that the remaining paperwork mailed last week it still floating around somewhere .
Who knew? – We are approved to be foster parents. Have been for a long time. Never knew.
REALLY BAD - The child we are so interested in is out of state. It’s thought that unless something changes, the child’s workers will be looking for a permanent placement in about three months. Jdropped the following bombshell re: that situation:
“There is policy at the state level that your study can’t be sent to another state until it has been at our state office for 6 months (meaning approved and in the system, I think). This gives us the opportunity to try to match you with an in-state child prior to giving you to another state.”
So of course, if our home study is approved within the next month (which J believes it will be) we will only have been in the system two months when they will be seeking permanent placement for the child.
I can’t tell you how livid I am about this, or at least I was after I sat down and had a good old fashioned cry first.
J did say that since I am friendly with one of the foster parents and at least a little bit familiar with the child’s case, the child’s worker could tell our state about that and it might make a difference.
So O and I have decided to take a stand.
Because of the fact that our home study has been at the state for over ONE YEAR, and because of the fact that we have fought for those 12 months to simply have our home study completed only to be ignored, we are going to request that the state make an exception to their rule in the case of this particular child. We are going to ask that they release our home study to this child’s worker when and if it is requested. If for some reason we are not chosen for this child, we are more than happy to continue our search for a child in our home state. It’s our preference actually.
I’ve written to my friend C who works for the state office to try and find out who in the world I’d even send that request to. No word back yet.
It’s entirely possible that I’m spinning my wheels here. Our state has no reason to grant that request. They hold all the cards. But I’m hopeful that if I can write a thoughtful, reasoned letter, they might at least consider it.
I once read something written by a woman who was trying unsuccessfully to get pregnant that perfectly describes where I was when I opened that e-mail yesterday. After another failed IVF cycle she wrote, “I don’t know what I did to deserve what’s happening to me, but it must have been something pretty bad.”
I don’t know why this whole process has been so difficult for us. Why I’ve had the stool kicked out from under my hopes and dreams more times than I can count. Why any time I allow myself to get even a little bit excited, something comes out of left field and I’m leveled again.
I just don’t know.
But what I DO know is that I’m not done fighting yet.
