Ummmm . . . so . . . did you happen to see the e-mail I sent you 78 hours ago asking when you expected to have our final paperwork complete and on its’ way to the state office of adoption?
I guess not, since I haven’t heard back from you. Nope. Nothin'. Crickets.
I really do hate to be pushy, but do you have any idea how long I’ve wanted to be a mother? Seriously – we’re talking at least 35 years here. That’s like eleventy gozillion days! That’s a long time.
I know you’re aware of all the hoops we jumped through to complete our home study. How many invasive things you / your forms asked and we happily answered. And what about those forms? There were a lot of them, huh? And the scrapbook I put together? Do you have any idea how much I spent at the scrapbook store trying to make it perfect?
Let’s not forget that we had to visit not one but TWO jails to be fingerprinted. My favorite was the one where the fingerprint machine was in the middle of the booking area and we were surrounded by 10 newly-arrested men and women giving us the evil eye from their respective cells. They were clearly trying to figure out what Mary Poppins in her fun spring skirt and darling sandals was doing there and what the street value of her jewelry was. This was the same jail, as you may recall, that never submitted those fingerprints to the state, so we had to participate in "Fingerprints 2, the C's Go Back to Jail".
What about this cute room we’ve got all set up? Did you remember that we dragged O’s mom’s childhood bed out of the barn where it had been for 50 years, stripped, stained and had a mattress custom made for it? And how cute is that quilt I made for it – all bright and fun?! Yeah, but see, there’s nobody here to snuggle under it at night. And you should know that the room has been painted so many times that it measures ¼” smaller than when it was built 3 years ago, as I had to find just the right shade of yellow – much more difficult than you might think. But alas, it is the perfect color yellow now, isn’t it? Yes, I thought so too.
Did you happen to notice the bookcase already filled with children’s books? I know, all the classics! But you see, there is no one to read them to. Surprisingly, O isn’t so interested in the collected stories of Winnie*the*Pooh, and reading to the cat is, well, just unsatisfying on so many levels.
And you know, Easter is coming right up and I don’t think I’m going to be able to convince my 47-year-old husband that dyeing Easter eggs is fun. Wouldn’t it be so much easier if we just had a CHILD to enjoy that with? You’ve seen our land and all the trees. Wouldn’t we have a fantastic Easter Egg Hunt? But the thing is, it’s no fun hiding eggs for the cat to find. Cats don’t really care about eggs, even those delicately dyed in shades of pink, purple, and blue.
You don’t live far from here so you must have seen how beautiful the last couple of days have been! Perfect swing-in-the-hammock-with-mom days, or bug-dad-and-ask-him-a-million-questions-about-the-lawnmowers-he’s-working-on days. Except there’s no one around here called “mom” or “dad”. But you, YOU have the power to change all that!
Yes, I know that despite your best efforts, we weren’t agreeable to becoming fos*ter paren*ts, so we aren’t as high up on the priority list but still, adopting is pretty important too, don’t you think? We will be really good parents, I promise. We will do everything we can to create a happy life for a child.
All we need is for you to do one tiny little thing for us . . . . just an eensy weensy little thing.
Could you just finish typing everything up and get it on its’ way to the state office? I even hate to bring it up because I know how insanely busy you are but gosh it would be nice to be a mom.
If there’s anything at all that I can do to speed that process along – wash your car, take care of your grocery shopping for the week, give you a lovely pedicure (I detest feet, so you can see right there how motivated I am), prepare your taxes, whatever you need, I’m SO there!
Oh, and if it’s not too much trouble, could you zip off a one-line e-mail letting me know just WHEN that whole "get all the paperwork on its' way to the state office" thing might happen?
So that I don’t go completely bonkers?
And start trying to teach the cat to carry an Easter basket?
I’m sure my husband (and the cat) would appreciate it, so thanks in advance from them.
Love and kisses, K
