Man alive I’m grumpy. I was awakened just after 5am by a thunderstorm and couldn’t go back to sleep, so I decided to zip off an e-mail to my best friend. Basically I told her that I had a bone to pick with her and explained the reasons why.
As I wrote about on this blog earlier in the week, I had a couple of issues:
About a month ago I told her that I was having some irregular bleeding and was going to see the doctor the next day. I told her that while it was likely nothing, given my history, I was nervous about it. I phoned her the day after the appointment and literally the first 40 minutes of the conversation was about her and the D*ave Ram*sey class she was taking. By the time she was through talking about herself, the time I had available to be on the phone was over and I had to go. No mention from her then or since about how that appointment went.
More importantly, I told her at least twice that we had what we hoped would be our final meeting with our social worker last Tuesday – that it would be the meeting where we’d find out if we would be recommended as adoptive parents. Other people that I mentioned it to called or e-mailed with their “good luck” wishes, and/or got in touch afterwards to see how it went and share our excitement. Yet, nothing from my best friend. Not a word. For a week.
In her response, she remembered nothing of the conversation re: the irregular bleeding – not a word. She chalks that up to me breezing over it as if it wasn’t a big deal (though if she doesn’t remember the conversation, how can she remember THAT?). Hmmm – let’s see. I told her I was nervous. I told when anything like that happened, I was concerned about it being cancer. I don’t think that’s glossing over anything. I chalk it up to her paying so little attention that she was unable to retain the information.
As for her explanation about her not getting in touch to either wish us luck or see how our final meeting with the SW went, this was what she said: Her cousin (I think) found out on the same Tuesday that they were getting a baby from Russia. She was just too excited to hide that from me, was afraid of hurting me with the news, so she chose to not call or e-mail at all. (FOR A WEEK)
Can I just call SHIT for a minute?!?!
My response was as follows:
I have to say, your reason for not calling last week baffles me. O and I were in the midst of probably the best thing that could happen to us as it relates to becoming parents, other than getting the news that we’ve been matched with a child. We're not in the middle of infertility treatment. We haven't just been given a horrible diagnosis. We’re simply thrilled and excited about adopting.
One of my dearest local girlfriends is pregnant and I couldn’t be happier for her. Monday I am having lunch with a girl who is adopting a baby from Kazakhstan. She just got her first batch of pictures of him and is dying for me to see them. I recently had lunch with another dear friend and her soon-to-be-adopted son and it was the most fun I’ve had in ages. Babies and adoption and pregnancy are everywhere in my life.
On top of that, I don't know T. or S.. (I'm assuming one is your cousin? I don't remember.) I've never met them. I doubt I ever will. Yet you made a conscious choice to simply blow off one of the best things that's happened to me in a long time - to not even CHECK ON IT - because I might be hurt by news of strangers adopting a child from overseas. If that was your concern, why not send an e-mail? Surely you could hide the excitement about your new second cousin in an e-mail?
And by the way, writing or calling to wish us good luck on the meeting would have happened BEFORE T and S's news . . .
I swear, I would have felt better if she’d just forgotten the meeting all together.
Then, I called my social worker this morning re: the e-mail I sent on Monday that SHE STILL HADN’T RESPONDED TO. I found her working away at her desk. Our paperwork is expected to be completed by the end of next week and on its’ way to the state office. I’m not sure how confident I am about that, but we shall see, I suppose.
As I wrote about on this blog earlier in the week, I had a couple of issues:
About a month ago I told her that I was having some irregular bleeding and was going to see the doctor the next day. I told her that while it was likely nothing, given my history, I was nervous about it. I phoned her the day after the appointment and literally the first 40 minutes of the conversation was about her and the D*ave Ram*sey class she was taking. By the time she was through talking about herself, the time I had available to be on the phone was over and I had to go. No mention from her then or since about how that appointment went.
More importantly, I told her at least twice that we had what we hoped would be our final meeting with our social worker last Tuesday – that it would be the meeting where we’d find out if we would be recommended as adoptive parents. Other people that I mentioned it to called or e-mailed with their “good luck” wishes, and/or got in touch afterwards to see how it went and share our excitement. Yet, nothing from my best friend. Not a word. For a week.
In her response, she remembered nothing of the conversation re: the irregular bleeding – not a word. She chalks that up to me breezing over it as if it wasn’t a big deal (though if she doesn’t remember the conversation, how can she remember THAT?). Hmmm – let’s see. I told her I was nervous. I told when anything like that happened, I was concerned about it being cancer. I don’t think that’s glossing over anything. I chalk it up to her paying so little attention that she was unable to retain the information.
As for her explanation about her not getting in touch to either wish us luck or see how our final meeting with the SW went, this was what she said: Her cousin (I think) found out on the same Tuesday that they were getting a baby from Russia. She was just too excited to hide that from me, was afraid of hurting me with the news, so she chose to not call or e-mail at all. (FOR A WEEK)
Can I just call SHIT for a minute?!?!
My response was as follows:
I have to say, your reason for not calling last week baffles me. O and I were in the midst of probably the best thing that could happen to us as it relates to becoming parents, other than getting the news that we’ve been matched with a child. We're not in the middle of infertility treatment. We haven't just been given a horrible diagnosis. We’re simply thrilled and excited about adopting.
One of my dearest local girlfriends is pregnant and I couldn’t be happier for her. Monday I am having lunch with a girl who is adopting a baby from Kazakhstan. She just got her first batch of pictures of him and is dying for me to see them. I recently had lunch with another dear friend and her soon-to-be-adopted son and it was the most fun I’ve had in ages. Babies and adoption and pregnancy are everywhere in my life.
On top of that, I don't know T. or S.. (I'm assuming one is your cousin? I don't remember.) I've never met them. I doubt I ever will. Yet you made a conscious choice to simply blow off one of the best things that's happened to me in a long time - to not even CHECK ON IT - because I might be hurt by news of strangers adopting a child from overseas. If that was your concern, why not send an e-mail? Surely you could hide the excitement about your new second cousin in an e-mail?
And by the way, writing or calling to wish us good luck on the meeting would have happened BEFORE T and S's news . . .
I swear, I would have felt better if she’d just forgotten the meeting all together.
Then, I called my social worker this morning re: the e-mail I sent on Monday that SHE STILL HADN’T RESPONDED TO. I found her working away at her desk. Our paperwork is expected to be completed by the end of next week and on its’ way to the state office. I’m not sure how confident I am about that, but we shall see, I suppose.
PISSED - - - - PISSY - - - - PISSED!
