The weather man said a 4-letter word this morning - a 4-letter word that sends otherwise sane and rational people in my part of the world into a milk-and-bread-buying frenzy. Yes, there is a possibility that we may get SNOW!As a good Southern girl, I too made my required trip to the grocery store this afternoon and the shelves were already emptying in anticipation of tonight's storm. How much are we expecting, you may ask yourself?
One - two inches, and oh by the way, the expected temperature for Sunday is about sixty degrees so if we're snowed in, it shan't be for long. I'm just hoping to have enough to make snow cream! Mmmmmm!
Anyway, the most exciting news of the week by far was our final home study visit with the social worker, completed on Tuesday afternoon. These home visits have been so much easier than I'd anticipated. I think it helps that we really like and feel comfortable with our worker, and that she's an "old pro" at this, so she's not hyper vigilant like I'd imagine a first-time worker would be. We went through our home safety checklist and other than getting a letter from our local Gas Board stating that our unvented fireplace logs aren't leaking some dread noxious gas that will kill all of us, we are DONE! I can hardly believe it.
I first looked into the foster/adopt classes through the state last summer. It seemed as if there was one snafu after another getting registered. We were just days too late to sign up for one class, another was postponed and we never got a call letting us know when it was rescheduled even though I left six messages. Several surrounding counties weren't having classes until well into the new year. We attended an orientation in our county but we were the only ones there so the class was cancelled.
It felt so much like a continuation of all the fertility treatment shit. We'd get our hopes up that we could finally, finally just get STARTED only to have the rug pulled out from under us time after time.
But we did get started and now, six months later, we can finally see some light at the end of the tunnel. All that's left is for our worker to finish writing her report and submit it to the state, along with our foot-thick stack of paperwork and our scrapbook. Theoretically if that review goes okay, we'll be entered into the state's computer database and we will officially be an adoption resource for our state.
To be honest, there is a part of me that's waiting for the other shoe to drop, waiting for something to go wrong. I still half expect a phone call saying that there's been a mistake and they won't be able to process our application. I can see clearly that my fear of hope stems directly from the time I spent in the world of IF. Those experiences changed me, probably forever in some ways. But there is definitely some excitement and yes, some hope to balance out my fear. Those hopes keep me pushing forward, buying kids' books by the stacks and daydreaming about the day we get the GOOD call letting us know that there's a child who will be coming to our home to stay.
I have to go now. I have to figure out what to make with all this milk and bread. French toast anyone?
